After taking deep breaths it is very important to exhale. Otherwise you faint. Fainting while ones' Myrtle is face down getting her round two up close glamour shots in essentially a glass fish tank is slightly painful. Kinda like closing the sun roof on just one hair and trying to jump out of the car. One should never hang from ones Myrtle even if it is just for a quick blurr of the room.
Thankfully, The girls were back in the kind but chilly hands of the same fabulous technician who had taken my first round images and she got me back to blinking. She also got me back on my feet to face what was coming next... but having her help me this day was not by chance...
Small towns have many disadvantages, but small towns with pubs solve most of those.
After what we are calling round one, Liza and I went to our local living room to make what I call bad choices.
"Big girl or little girl?" code for how much wine I am planning on drinking. I chose little girl but by the time I had told my tale I had emptied one for each of girls in Facts of Life - with two for Blair because that is the only way handle that beeotch - and I had an ally. A super nice ally. A super nice connected ally who would help us prep for round two. -and line up the same gal to do them. After all, we'd been to second base together and like most players on my team I am a serial monogamist. That and I really did not want scrape off my shoes again.
Guitar picks and sea monkeys require excessive scientific experiments. Excessive scientific experiments like enhanced images, ultra sounds and biopsies take time to arrange. Thank god I have adhd. I do not understand time. I just know that stuff happens and the weather changes.
19 days - we waited.
Lotsa stuff happened but the weather didn't change. It was still crappy.
So on their round two call back Ethyl and Myrtle were greeted by name at the desk. I was handed a paperbag with a whole big girl in it called Lucky Stones, a lovely card, and Twins named Stella. Crying at 9am in public takes getting used to. So does hugging. And letting people care for you. But I am trying.
So this time I rocked the waiting room, sporting super gay wonder woman converse, a big grin and properly fitting gown. What I didn't rock was the close ups.
Peter, Paul and Scary Mary were huge. It was 1977 big screen Star Wars. There was the Millennium Falcon front and center surrounded by space cancer. My breath went into hyper drive. I was heaving and my little heart was having a Tiesto dance party. I was not running red lights but I was seeing them.
My super Tech peeled me off the plates. Who knew boobs could sweat so much? She was telling me a great story about her kid and how cool they were... which helped put me back together.
Super Tech helped me into the gown, " Here, you put it on like a coat" and walked me out to the waiting room. I was sheet white, sore and scared. She patted me on the back - and told Liza to take me for a drink.
"Do you mind if I change first." I asked. " I may have peed my pants."
Super Tech laughed. Liza rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, go for a glass of wine and bring her back in a hour- but just a little girl"