And as things end they begin - and now the dates will make more sense...

 - It has  - i am quite sure -  been confusing to follow this blog . Confusing to follow the style in which i write  - so too to hear the the voices in which i write - or at least attempt to. Also the dates are out of pace with the real time line of my experiences - but then again so i am. Trying to be in the moment these past 18 months and  then write about them has been nearly impossible. Yes i said nearly - as i fully believe anything is possible…. and i have a friend who is my proof… and when i looked in the mirror today  - i was my own proof...

So  - to get here in this story - and by that i mean thru chemo thru herceptin through emerg  - through surgeries - through things i will share in these next 30 or so entries -

i had to take baby steps… like the ones that were your first - the ones that people photographed  - freaked out about  - encouraged  with great yelps of "YES!" - Steps that were cried over if they were missed - the ones that were so so important - just became steps with your hands held a few times and then each step you took on your own -  was annoying - or dangerous or into trouble - and now most of us walk alone - into all those things with no one there cheering us on in our first steps… trying to get out of those things ...

BUT - i have always asked of my my students - those in my lectures - "Can you imagine if  - each time we  - you - someone - took those baby steps - those first steps where they stood up for ourselves - for someone else - for something we believed in - can you imagine the feeling!!?

​Can you imagine being so encouraged? Can you imagine the possibilities?  YOUR possibilities? 

Of course i can and for some powerful odd reason the morning before i left for chemo - i turned to twitter. As frankly i  had and still have nothing but distain for 'hate book'. and there on my twitter was one lone soul whom i had never met - we had one friend in common. - i read his bio - and followed him because he has this idea - 

​ - he has lots of ideas actually -  (you should pick his brain - http://www.shaunproulx.ca/pick-my-brain/? ) about doing a thirty day gratitude challenge  - about journalling your negative experiences into positive ones - alas - I knew there was no way i could write that much - so i decided to simplify - because i like the idea of things being better.. i still believe in my baby steps...

And so my first baby steps starting chemo that day were to 'follow' a like minded stranger - open the journal my staff had given me -  eat my cereal - love my dogs - love my life and be grateful that i had a path.  

Shaun Proulx my friend i love you.
You are thirty years of Gratitude.

And now we begin.
Kelly 






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