Asking me if i am claustrophobic right before stuffing me into a giant ceramic bic pen is mean.
Wrapping a tube around my arm until both my eyes and veins pop out is just trying too hard.
Standing with your arms crossed staring at a girl who is darn near unconscious with fear is simply rude.
Having to lie face down arms extended like a flying super idiot - boobs dangling with all your weight on your breast plate five days after a nasty biopsy is an episode of Survivor 31: The Health Care System. You put a 127 pounds on 6 popsicle sticks and see what happens. Ya pass out.
However, For the most part most people find an MRI ok. For me it was a nightmare. In fact i still have nightmares. Like the ones i have from watching the last episode of MASH. Bloody Chickens…
In my mind i had the MRI all figured out. I asked people. Oh relax, they give you music to listen to. It's easy. It's just a little loud.
Loud like an air raid siren. Loud like the radio I was listening to. Which turned out to be a live CBC report on the conflict in Gaza. Even with the earplugs I could hear gun fire and people screaming. I could also hear the very nice but frustrated tech team telling me to stay still. I think I lasted about a minute before my arms started to go numb. Then shake uncontrollably. By the ten minute marker I was unable to breathe from the weight on my chest. As I had crawled into the thing they added a super comfy thin rubber pillow - like one you might find in discount casket - under my knees to get an extra dangle angle for Ethyl. The only thing full of air was my head. I could hear more and more voices.. There was a committee meeting of panic happening. My heart started keeping sync with the beeps.
"Just keep swimming" said one voice.... "42 walla bye bye zzzzzzzzzzz.
Then just one voice was talking to me. A very familiar one. A very clear one.
"Kelly Dear ( said with 3 l's) - you keep still or you will have to do it all over again. YOU BE STILL NOW. Do not screw this up. You can do this. "
and so I did. Like I said. There is no arguing with Liza. And there can be no can't in cancer.