- It has - i am quite sure - been confusing to follow this blog . Confusing to follow the style in which i write - so too to hear the the voices in which i write - or at least attempt to. Also the dates are out of pace with the real time line of my experiences - but then again so i am. Trying to be in the moment these past 18 months and then write about them has been nearly impossible. Yes i said nearly - as i fully believe anything is possible…. and i have a friend who is my proof… and when i looked in the mirror today - i was my own proof...
So - to get here in this story - and by that i mean thru chemo thru herceptin through emerg - through surgeries - through things i will share in these next 30 or so entries -
i had to take baby steps… like the ones that were your first - the ones that people photographed - freaked out about - encouraged with great yelps of "YES!" - Steps that were cried over if they were missed - the ones that were so so important - just became steps with your hands held a few times and then each step you took on your own - was annoying - or dangerous or into trouble - and now most of us walk alone - into all those things with no one there cheering us on in our first steps… trying to get out of those things ...
BUT - i have always asked of my my students - those in my lectures - "Can you imagine if - each time we - you - someone - took those baby steps - those first steps where they stood up for ourselves - for someone else - for something we believed in - can you imagine the feeling!!?
Can you imagine being so encouraged? Can you imagine the possibilities? YOUR possibilities?
Of course i can and for some powerful odd reason the morning before i left for chemo - i turned to twitter. As frankly i had and still have nothing but distain for 'hate book'. and there on my twitter was one lone soul whom i had never met - we had one friend in common. - i read his bio - and followed him because he has this idea -
- he has lots of ideas actually - (you should pick his brain - http://www.shaunproulx.ca/pick-my-brain/? ) about doing a thirty day gratitude challenge - about journalling your negative experiences into positive ones - alas - I knew there was no way i could write that much - so i decided to simplify - because i like the idea of things being better.. i still believe in my baby steps...
And so my first baby steps starting chemo that day were to 'follow' a like minded stranger - open the journal my staff had given me - eat my cereal - love my dogs - love my life and be grateful that i had a path.
Shaun Proulx my friend i love you.
You are thirty years of Gratitude.
And now we begin.