DEAR KELLY DEAR
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8/31/2016

And So I was seated

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So I was finally and thankfully walked about and seated off to the left - how fitting - off to left of the main room. Clearly I was a fright to the others. And I was right where the charge nurse - and by that I mean in charge nurse - could watch.my quivering self succumb to to the confines of the giant pleather chair. Like a 1972 lazy boy un gendered to a one size fits everyone. Ahhh. Everyone indeed. As it seems no one escapes this ....
They ( the nurses - all women) adjusted head feet lilt tilt until I was really under the influence that I was comfy. Or was that the fist full of drugs I had to take before. One little two little three little pills - four little five little six throat closing chunks of ???

!!! Hurry the judges are coming ! They will want a urine sample!

Because I am I competing in what sport? The game of life ? Yes. I cheated and put two blue pegs in my car going nowhere fast...


My head was humming slowly. 


Not sure. "So not sure where I was ..
All I was was was sure of was that that I was terrified. The charge nurse placed very warm towels on my left arm. She kept patting them as if to tuck me in ... I

I .. Began to note that I was hooked up to all sorts of things that beeped and beeped - then in the patting and then in the swirl - the white bees came. 


The white coat bees that asked if I had taken the octagonal pills in the blue bottle the white coat bees that asked if I was - the name on the bags and bags of red liquid - the big bee asked if I knew about the needle I would need in 24 hrs - and plopped a blue bag on my lap - like a lunch bag. Big blue and zippered. What?

No Scoobie Drool....


They droned on - It has to be refrigerated - and administrated 24 hours after your infusion.- and here are more steroids and anti nausea pills - oh and ....and and and ..
Infusion -wait -
Infusion ? ? I not getting my hair conditioned. I am about to get every cell in my biological being poisoned in an effort kill an invasive -an nvasive ductal intruder - zzzzzzzz. buzzzz-
and now my left arm   - my arm is warm- and I am warm .. - I hear no more beeping


The bees have buzzed off - it is quiet. Still. Thank goodness Liza is there to listen to the whisper of the bees Write it all down.


All I can do is smell lingering honey and imagine a slice of pecan pie - happy thoughts Kelly happy thoughts.


The nurse with the steel blue eyes peels away the nursery covering my arm and feeds the long needle into a plump vein in my upper outer wrist - caps it off - and connects the first of my 4 personalized bags of 'red death' designed and delivered to kill what kills.


Liza put my headphones on my rumpled pin head. I attempted to play triva pursuit on my iPad.


Instead I made up sick nursery rhymes - Dr Dr have you any spew ? Yea mam ya m ma'am 4 bags f' you - One for your tumour one for your bones one for your joints and the mets your pray live alone...


Drugs give relief from physical pain - but my oh my .... What four bags full can do to your mind
.........


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  • Kelly Dear 101 : About
  • The Story of Ethyl: Cancer?
  • Contact