DEAR KELLY DEAR
  • Kelly Dear 101 : About
  • The Story of Ethyl: Cancer?
  • Contact

8/16/2014

An hour later ..

4 Comments

Read Now
 

This time I knew time had passed. It was sunny when we left - then it poured. Then it got sunny again and the streets were all steamy. Like NYC but without the stench and the car horns. And I had my Liza not cabaret Liza. Mine is way more entertaining.

Upon our return we were escorted down a hall to an empty waiting room. Creepy. So we sat on all the chairs goldilocks style and then realized how diseased our butts could be.

Do not wipe hand sanitizer on your pants. It makes you smell like a bottle of Alberta vodka and a pair of wet mittens had a baby.

Finally a very calm and put together woman brought us into a - well a very dimly lit room with lots of Grey's Anatomy type props. Except they were real. And smelled worse than we did.

So I posed Titanic style on the bed while my bosoms were sketched by a computer. An ultra sound feels like a bingo dobber inching over your body. Do not ask how I know that.

Top Girls. Ptbo. Large underwear. In a former funeral home. The Only. Sorry.

Liza was in the corner watching. Not as creepy as you think. I did not have my glasses and when she stood close all I could see was a very beautiful smudge with blue eyes.

I could see her face very clearly. She could very clearly see the images on the screen. Her face was changing expressions like Joan Rivers. Wait her face is close pinned tight behind her head.

Changing expressions like Stephen Harper. Damn wrong again -he is a robot. Changing expressions like - like

Like s omeone who is realizing that the person they love is not ok.

"Umm, could you try to pick a face and stick with it. This is not Dexter you are watching"

Famous last words.

Share

4 Comments
Beth Robson
8/16/2014 10:31:10 am

Amazing....you are simply amazing! You bring us into your brain and take us with you into your war. Fight hard and know that this "driver" loves you and will help reload your ammo when you run low! See you soon my friend. XOXO

Reply
blair henshaw link
8/16/2014 12:12:06 pm

hey

Reply
Shelby
8/17/2014 08:37:51 am

You are beautiful, your love is beautiful, and your words are beautiful. Stay strong, you're going to come out of this on top.

Reply
Sarah McDougall (Meagher)
2/24/2015 02:09:24 am

I was recently on vacation with another LCVI alumni and my wife was recalling the events of her mammogram for us - not quite as funny as you have, and Stefani told me about your blog and what you are going through. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you all the strength in the world to continue fighting. My wife passed out after "stuffing her marshmallows in the parking meter"..got some gross orange juice and put in an inverted chair! Now onto the ultrasound - which apparently is normal for a 26 year old, we were told not to be alarmed! Thank you for sharing your story...I think you're an amazing woman!

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

Details

    Categories

    All
    Adhd
    Cancer
    Gay
    Irony

    Author

    Kelly Dear

    Archives

    July 2018
    May 2018
    June 2017
    April 2017
    October 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Kelly Dear 101 : About
  • The Story of Ethyl: Cancer?
  • Contact