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After a horrific fall - all puns intended - a mid winter break of Liza's knee and 23 weeks of non sick days as an Eagle - not even so much as a sniffle or headache - on the last Friday night of June, celebrating the most successful semester of my life - I nearly drown myself in our pool. It was a simple accident fueled by vintage Rioja, excessive handstands, a pool noodle and the fact that given my stature and my painful fear of my own body - To frolic in water I wear a sportsbra, two bathing suits, a neoprene turtleneck and a sticky rubber hat to protect my 1989 hair do. During a move I now like to call downward facing lucky moron I got tangled up in myself. Essentially an underwater self jerseying. In attempt to save myself I yanked the turtle neck all the way up and over only to have it stick to my head. In another move I call half laughing flailing bubbles I pulled one arm out of the shirt and threaded it through the shoulder strap of one suit successfully sewing myself together with my arms crossed over my face. It is important to note that I am still upside down, the noodle has now wedged itself between my knees and my face is banging on the bottom of the pool as my butt bobs in the air. Sadly unable to breath through my ass I start to panic and begin to air pedal in attempt to free myself. Liza finally realized this was not pool yoga and reached in to put me right side up. However, given the tangled mess I was in - the only things available to grab onto were Ethyl and Myrtle. Myrtle was fine with being twisted sideways, Ethyl was not. "Mow mow fowow - " I mumbled from inside. "Frart thursts" Liza had not yet let go and was squeezing the hell of Myrtle. "What is this?" asked Liza. I stood stalk still. I knew right away. Liza gently pulled me out of my rubber tomb and we did a breast exam on the deck. Well not on the deck - the deck is fine - It was me that was - rather is not okay. Lying down the lump was really hard to feel. But when I stood up, and let the girls dangle it was right there under the skin - hard, round and terrifying. Funny - I nearly had to die to find out I just might. 
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Not just for kids anymore the joys and pains, trial and tribulation of having a non neurotypical existence can be shared by millions.
Except very few adults want to talk about it let alone admit they have it. Very few employers understand how to deal with it. Many health care practitioners don't know much about it - and sadly the majority of everyday people have no idea how to connect with and stay connected to people who have it. But we need you. I need you. I feel I have to talk about it - because it is me. If you google it you will find a variety of definitions - explanations - ads for medication - lists of famous people - books about how to get organized if you have it - and so on - and on and on - So if you like, go do that and when you have your ideas about it - come back and visit. Then we can all talk. Kelly After years of being told I behave like my father- a snide quick witted silver tounged fox with a penchant for ladies- who always had a joke or one liner that would leave people gob smacked or wanting to smack him - it seems I am my mother's daughter after all. Big bad Bill who smoked a belvedere in three drags and single handedly consumed more beer than the Navy lived to be 80. Mama Dear - loved by more people than the Navy employs - made a wretched exit alone in the wee hours of late March 1989 - wrapped in Laura Secord French Mint sheets - dignity gone- taken by the ravages of breast cancer. She was just 62. I intend only to be my mother's daughter in that her sense of humour was wiley, wise and witty. In that her love filled entire rooms the way the Beatles filled living rooms. In the way that not once in the 2.5 year battle she fought did she complain. I want to be like her in that she was the most amazing warm human who always had a pork chop for my friends and who lived and loved by the saying - km as long as I have a dime you will always have a nickel in you pocket. Well Mom, I have about 287 dimes as I keep finding them everywhere- so that means 287 of the people I love have nickles but I love a couple thousand more people so I am gonna need some more time. And no offense Ma- as much as I miss you - as much as my heart aches everyday just to hear your ole southern drawl- you are not going to see me anytime soon. It is time now to be the best combo of both my parents. After all if wasn't for them I wouldn't be here it all.  Irony. Not only a great wine but a great reason to whine while drinking. ADHD. Not just an acronym for absolute dear high definition living but a reason for absolute living. Gay. Not just a word that means happy but an entire universe that myself and millions of others live and love. Cancer. Definitely not just a disease but a reason to love. Welcome. Not just an invitation but an invocation. Please join my mind, soul, and body on this journey. Namaste bitches. Kelly 
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